#8-What Doctor...I Can't Join the Armed Forces?

Michelle Brunke thank you for being my first and only follower (so far). I tend to be the follower in life, so this is new.  However, one of the few serious aspects of this blog is to stress the importance of being your own leader when it comes to your health. I have learned to ask questions and research, research, research. Reliable sources should be the only ones used though. I learned that the hard way; that story will be a post entitled Mommy, Why is Daddy Taking Your Computer to Work with Him?: Banned from the Internet. Unmonitored group forums unnecessarily caused my hyperactive nerves to go crazy on a number of past occasions.

I posted in Happy 31st Birthday! Enjoy Your New Nonprogrammable Shunt Valve! Part 1 that magnets were a huge no-no for me. With my original brain hardware, any magnetic field could technically alter the amount of fluid my brain rested in. I found that magnets were absolutely the most absurd restriction, and near impossible to avoid as our phones, iPads, speakers, ear phones, and metal detectors contain them. The very smart friend who realized that there are no magnets in magnetic paint posted this to my FB wall.

 

We looked like that robot as we cleared our house of household magnets. My school even cleared my room of magnets. We even contacted our home's previous owner about any magnets he knew of in the house. I am sure he was thinking we had gone mad. In my mind, I can hear the previous owner answering Kyle on the phone, "Ummm no...I am not aware of any magnets that might break your wife's brain, now please lose my phone number." Ironically, this summer I did find a huge magnet in an out-of-sight faucet box under a vanity. I even had a "shunt card" that was suppose to get me out of concert and airport security lines because of the metal detectors. Damn the Shunt Gods! I didn't get to experience that particular opportunity, but I do still have the card. They won't know I changed my brain machine to a different model. Since the new model, I can get back to magnets and continue to buy a one at each vacation spot we drag our kids to. I just wish I had my Mount Rushmore, Omaha, and Branson magnets back.

There are two other situations I have to avoid due to the brain straw I have in my head. The first one is the Armed Forces. Yes, the military will have to wait for another perfect specimen-of-a human to fight the bad guys. I imagine my-solider-self resembling Brad Pitt in Troy, so that sucks for them. Secondly,  you will not see me in line at the Timber Wolf at World's of Fun.  Is that roller coaster still even at WOF? A fellow Zipper Head's (nickname for brain surgery patients) neurosurgeon told her that roller coasters are not good for anyone's body or head, let alone ours. For me, the fear is the strong motion (a very technical physics' term there;) will move my proximal catheter out of the brain's ventricle (brain hole). So no Marines or roller coasters for me, I think I can still live a satisfying life.